I recently read Terrence Real's, I Don't Want to Talk About It: Overcoming the Secret Legacy of Male Depression. Put simply: it blew me away. Available in paperbackm Kindle, and on Audible, this book is not only essential reading for anyone who identifies as male and who has experienced low moods, but for partners and parents too.
"A bestseller for over 20 years, I Don’t Want to Talk About It is a groundbreaking and hopeful guide to understanding and destigmatizing male depression".
Terrence Real has 20 years of experience treating men and their families, and in this book he lays bare the individual and systemic ways that men are left vulnerable to developing depression - undiagnosed and untreated. Real exposes how our common assumptions of what depression looks like in boys and men often mask the lived experiences of those who suffer with it: problems that we think of as typically male—difficulty with intimacy, workaholism, alcoholism, abusive behaviour, and anger—are often attempts to escape an underlying or "covert" depression.
In this book, Real "reveals how men can unearth their pain, heal themselves, restore relationships, and break the legacy of abuse. He mixes penetrating analysis with compelling tales of his patients and even his own experiences with depression as the son of a violent, depressed father and the father of two young sons."
This is potent reading for anyone who has struggled to connect and engage emotionally with a male relative, partner, child, or dear friend. It's a rare book that cracks open a deeper understanding for us of the dynamics at play when we're trying to understand distressing behaviours or moods presenting in our relationship with someone we care about. It's even more relieving to read how depression in men can often be transcended with accurate diagnosis and treatment.
Real's book empowers those suffering by representing diverse experiences of male depression, while explaining and illustrating treatment approaches. It also supports those who love them by providing a lens through which we may fill the spaces and silences with compassion - to bridge and dignify, rather than further estrange us.
Comments